When you say I can never understand chronic pain without experiencing it, it depends on what you mean by ‘understand’. If you mean I can never share your experience of pain then you are absolutely right. None of us can feel the pain of anyone else. Pain is a feeling that each of us faces alone, so you are correct. I will never understand your pain the way you do unless humans develop telepathic powers.

However, we can use our powers of reason to learn how pain works and how to deal with it. This kind of understanding is achieved by hard work and study whether one is a patient, clinician or researcher. It requires effort and intellectual honesty.

I don’t think an oncologist needs to have cancer to care better for her patients or a psychologist needs to be anxious to treat anxiety. I don’t think we need to be in chronic pain to be able to listen, validate someone’s experience and be empathic. This helps people with pain feel that at least someone believes them and wants to help. This is what I want to be emphasized in medical education and believe it is as important as knowledge of drugs and technical skills. This is where so many of us fail and end up being less than helpful.

I can’t understand your pain and never will. But I can treat you like a human being, understanding that you really are in pain and that it may affect every aspect of your being. In my opinion, that kind of understanding is a minimum requirement for anyone involved directly in pain care.